Forming a Habit

After 9 days of holiday vacation I returned to work in my laziest. During the vacation I was contemplating about quitting my job this year. I read somewhere that quittinga job you hate is something old people regret not doing. I’ve always felt that this job was not meant for me. I couldn’t see myself growing old in this industry. But being in my 20s, I had that hunger to learn, to please people, to let them know I am brilliant. Yes, after a short time people saw that and that’s when the decline happened. That’s when I felt like I no longer needed to prove that I am an exellent employee so I gave myself room to slack off. I think the only thing that has kept me doing this job for the past 7 years is my habit to do well in anything and everything that is thrown at me. Because I have built myself well in this job there are times that I feel I’m being over appreciated. People still appreciate my work even though I feel like I did not give my 100 percent. It’s good but I guess it also made me jaded because I know that even my so-so is good enough for them. It just didn’t push me to work harder, to give more, to be better. It has left me giving  mediocre.

So yeah.. I came in Monday and complained about everything. That’s when I realized that I do really complain a lot — from small stuff to the big ones. That’s when I listened to myself and to the people around me. We complain a lot! Read facebook, twitter, etc. so I made a plan, a rule — Not to verbalize any complaints, to completely avoid complaining.

Tuesday rolled by and I broke the rule at 10am when I shouted in the office “Ang BAGAL ng INTERNET!”. Strike 1. I pushed myself that day to do my work without complaint.  When I got home in the evening, our neighbor was holding a party with people singing karaoke at the top of their lungs. I restrained myself from complaining, trying to divert my attention by thinking about something good out of the situation.

Wednesday came and I had to zip my mouth when the HR sent an email saying our salary will be delayed. “uh-uh don’t complain” I told myself so I preferred not to comment. Our neighbor held another party that night.

Thursday came and I thought I was doing pretty well. When I got home, our neighbor was holding another party. I didn’t sleep well the night before and I really needed a good sleep that night in preparation for a busy weekend. As much as I restrained myself from being annoyed, I just really couldn’t take it anymore. By 11pm they were still not done and I couldn’t get myself to sleep. I searched the web for the building’s number and called them. Gladly, someone answered who told me they were about to finish. I just couldn’t hold back myself from posting a complaint on twitter. God must have really tested me that week and I failed.

I’m still trying to follow that rule everyday, forming a habit. I hope the next time a neighbor holds a karaoke for 4 straight nights, I will have more restraint.

By verbalizing our complaints and negative thoughts, we are throwing the negative energy out in the universe, creating an echo. We must learn to drown out these thoughts before they come out of our mouth.

Complain Less. Do More.

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