Yesterday afternoon, while I was sitting at gate 24 in HK airport, waiting to board the plane back home, one of the passengers stood up infront of the crowd and opened his bible. He introduced himself as a pastor ( i didn’ catch his name) and started to preach about the Good News, about Jesus as our savior. I didn’t know if people were listening because most of them seemed oblivious to his presence. At the end of his speech, he asked who among the crowd believes that God loves them and that Jesus is their savior. People’s hands started shooting up and I raised mine with pride. Seeing many raised hands among a crowd that seemed to not care was such a validation of the presence of God and I was glad to witness it.
I admire the preachers who have so much courage to stand infront of strangers and preach about the gospel. Bless them. Some may think it’s foolish but one thing I learned, it’s ok to be foolish in the name of the Lord.
Do not fool yourselves. If you think you are wise in this world, you should become a fool so that you can become truly wise, (1 Corinthians 3:18 NCV)
Self worth has been a constant battle for me for a very long time. Until over a month ago, I was sitting in a darkened room surrounded by people in deep prayer that I’ve decided to let go of my battle because Jesus was telling me “You are beautiful”. That was all it took for my tears to spill and overflow. It was finally nice to wake up each morning with peace in my heart because I was loving the person that I was despite my imperfections.
But then with just one stupid mistake, everything I’ve believed about myself POOF! gets thrown out the window. How unfair that beyond my control I’ve become someone else in the eyes of others leaving so little room for self redemption. Just like that I’m back to questioning myself.
WHY? Why did it have to happen? Why now? Why weren’t someone there to stop me from making a stupid mistake?
I could not understand why God allowed it. It took me sometime to realize.
When I thought God had abandoned me, He was there in the face of people who chose to embrace me despite the embarrassing part of myself. It happened probably for me to learn how to accept and love myself at my worst.
We must learn to embrace those imperfections that are and those that will be.